Psalm 51:16, 17
"You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it...My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise."
We all have our times when we sin, and afterward want so badly to find that one thing that will "fix" it with God, and then struggle with the fear that nothing can or will. This is normal. No one is immune. Even a strong warrior like King David struggled with this problem. I'm sure you have struggled with the problem.I struggle with this problem. Like David, I keep looking for that
thing to do, or that prayer to pray that will make me feel better. When I sin,
deliberately and recklessly, obviously I feel bad. I want so bad to find
something that will assuage the guilt I cannot tolerate. I guess at least that
shows that I have a conscience. It does not however, guarantee that I am living
and walking in the Spirit.. If I were, I would put behind me the sin that
causes the guilt in the first place. Along with that guilt comes fear. In my
heart, I KNOW that God forgives. I KNOW that God is NOT measuring my worthiness
for heaven by the number of sins committed. But in my mind, I FEAR that that is
exactly the case. So I must DO the good thing that will balance it all out.
Pray more. Pray harder. Read more scripture. All good, yes. But all
unsuccessful in accomplishing what I need. “You do not delight in sacrifice...“
I‘m sorry? Yes, I should ask for God’s forgiveness. I hurt Him when I sin. But
seeking forgiveness doesn’t cover the sinful act. For I also KNOW, according to
God’s word, that God is NOT measuring my worthiness for heaven by the number of
good things I do, either. Jesus death on the cross has taken care of that
forever. But I can, and must respond to that act with actions that reflect
those of the ONE who now owns my heart. “The sacrifices of God are a broken
spirit, a broken and contrite heart...“ Repentance. I must repent. STOP the
behavior! When the behavior stops and when the Spirit fills the gap the sin
used to occupy, the guilt will be gone and so will the fear. Assurance and
peace come with a clear conscience and a clean heart!
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