Big God, Small Me.

Job 26:14

“these are but the outer fringe of His works...How faint the whisper we hear of Him.”

After so many years of experiencing God in my life and ministry, why am I still so slow in understanding that God is no where near as small and compact as I think Him to be? It’s frustrating when I have everything laid out so neatly, so clearly, so perfectly, and then God alters my plan. He makes it clear that there is so much I do not know about Him and HIS plan. Why am I so slow to learn what was undeniably clear to Job - “these are but the outer fringe of His works...” What I believe is a complete blueprint of what God has designed for my life or for the church, is really just one stroke of the drafter’s pencil. What appears to be a raging storm of His Spirit is but one drop of rain in a light drizzle of His work. “How faint the whisper we hear of Him.” The truth is that I do not really know God at all. So much is still hidden because He is SO big! When I make Him small, and He does not act or respond as I think He should, He may be easier for me to deal with, but I also miss out on all the things He can and wants to do for me that I do not yet know even exists. There are times when I think God is treating me unfairly, but the true question is, do I want fair or do I want just. Do I want to become what I think I should be or what God wants me to be? Think about it, which way is better? 

Ahhh...Sweet Refreshment!

I frequently find myself in that "downcast" position. Life gets harder than I would prefer, and the light at the end of the tunnel seems so far away, if it's even on at all. We've all experienced the dry times of life, at some point, in some way. Oh how nice it is to feel the cool refreshment of our thirst being quenched. We feel alive, confident, strong, and joyous. Like the picture which the Psalmist paints for us. Watch as a deer stops by a cool brook to drink and then after being refreshed, bounds away, jumping and running with renewed vigor. That’s the feeling I want to have. But when I am downcast - recessed, as I like to say, - I feel very little like bounding for joy. Joy seems no where to be found. I pant for it, thirst for it, but can’t feel it. It seems so far in the distant past, I wonder if I will ever feel the refreshing coolness of life again. Is God not supposed to see that need and address it? Where is the cool, clear stream of refreshment from which I can drink and be filled? Why has God not brought back those feelings of joy to me? Well, God has just one question for me, and those like me - “Why are you downcast? Put your hope in God” Easier said than done! But, the real problem is not that the path to the water isn’t there, it’s that I’m either on the wrong path or not looking for the path at all! I’m generally sitting, sulking, whining, and panting for help to come to me, or wandering along a path that shows no signs leading toward the refreshing drink.

God has made the path very plain and the signs to water very visible. It’s all in His word. When I read it I remember. When I remember the goodness of God, I search for more. When I search, I see the signs so clear. And those signs lead me to the refreshing, cool stream of security, serenity, and joy. 

"Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God." - Psalm 43

What Should I Do About Sin?

Psalm 51:16, 17

"You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it...My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart you, God, will not despise."

We all have our times when we sin, and afterward want so badly to find that one thing that will "fix" it with God, and then struggle with the fear that nothing can or will. This is normal. No one is immune. Even a strong warrior like King David struggled with this problem. I'm sure you have struggled with the problem.I struggle with this problem. Like David, I keep looking for that thing to do, or that prayer to pray that will make me feel better. When I sin, deliberately and recklessly, obviously I feel bad. I want so bad to find something that will assuage the guilt I cannot tolerate. I guess at least that shows that I have a conscience. It does not however, guarantee that I am living and walking in the Spirit.. If I were, I would put behind me the sin that causes the guilt in the first place. Along with that guilt comes fear. In my heart, I KNOW that God forgives. I KNOW that God is NOT measuring my worthiness for heaven by the number of sins committed. But in my mind, I FEAR that that is exactly the case. So I must DO the good thing that will balance it all out. Pray more. Pray harder. Read more scripture. All good, yes. But all unsuccessful in accomplishing what I need. “You do not delight in sacrifice...“ I‘m sorry? Yes, I should ask for God’s forgiveness. I hurt Him when I sin. But seeking forgiveness doesn’t cover the sinful act. For I also KNOW, according to God’s word, that God is NOT measuring my worthiness for heaven by the number of good things I do, either. Jesus death on the cross has taken care of that forever. But I can, and must respond to that act with actions that reflect those of the ONE who now owns my heart. “The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, a broken and contrite heart...“ Repentance. I must repent. STOP the behavior! When the behavior stops and when the Spirit fills the gap the sin used to occupy, the guilt will be gone and so will the fear. Assurance and peace come with a clear conscience and a clean heart!